Reply to My mom is convinced he will "grow out" of his special needs

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]After a long journey with lots of specialists, money, IEP, etc., we are now better equipped to help our son.  (We are not medicating, and have chosen to do lots of therapy and educating ourselves on how to be his advocate and parent the best we can knowing how is brain works.)

My mother doesn't believe in ADHD, and thinks his problems are due to "poor parenting" on our part.  She tells us, "He will grow out of this.  You *people* over react to everything.  He just needs discipline."   Then she goes all FOX news and crazy shit on me, and tells me how different things were when she raised us.

Holidays are coming up, and quite frankly, I can't deal with her comments and treatment of him as we are just getting things on track.  Not sure how to handle this situation.

Advice?[/quote]

I don't see what the problem is. If you are not medicating, what is she objecting to exactly? Just say, "Yes, I agree, mom! He'll probably grow out of it. That's why we're not medicating him." And just bite the bullet and say that the therapy is to help you discipline him. [/quote]

OP here.  Thanks for all of the feedback everyone.  To answer this PP's question, I guess I am hoping she will try to understand what we now know.  We are not medicating because he is six, and we want to wait just a bit longer before we go this route.  I am not anti medication.

I haven't talked to my mom extensively about what is going on with my son, but she is aware that we are spending lots of time and effort trying to help him.  Last month she came to visit, and got so frustrated with my son that she took him to his room and spanked him.  Very hard.  She couldn't understand why he wouldn't sit properly in his chair, couldn't keep elbows off the table, and wouldn't look her in the eye.  The thing is, he can do these things now with the right words and help from us.  He was just having a bad morning with her.

I was helping my daughter get ready, and heard him wailing in his room with her.  I went nuts.  This adds more context, and explains why I need to either set better boundaries, or simply come up with a different holiday plan.  [/quote]

So ... he wasn't being destructive or disrespectful, just exhibiting behavior normally associated with a six year old boy? I mean he wasn't making messes and refusing to clean them, or refusing to turn down the TV volume, or anything like that?

Yeah, not cool at all. [/quote]

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