Reply to Fiance, family , marriage, and history of sexual abuse.

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[quote=Anonymous]OP.   First of all, I am sickened by what your fiancé has suffered.  I do think it's wonderful that he trusted you to tell you.

Marriage and parenthood- if kids are in your plans- are really hard, even with the best start.  The sad reality of your situation is that you do NOT have an opportunity to have the life you envisioned with this man.  Take some time to grieve for that, but you must face it.   His father, untreated, should not have contact with any children. Period.

Keeping your June wedding plans is not a good idea.   This guy might still be the one,but not in his current state.  The fact that he has buried this for so long does NOT mean he is ok.  I agree that his abuser likely harmed others, probably the brother. I also fear that marrying into a family with this situation is a safety issue unless you and your fiancé get some serious help working through it.  As other PPs have pointed out, these patterns repeat in families.

Your posts seem like you aren't quite ready to accept the situation.  That's understandable, but pressures will only mount between now and June. Bease put the wedding on hold. Focus on what matters most- a healthy marriage.[/quote]

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