Reply to No Respect for DH, and falling out of love.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again. PP I appreciate your insight as BTDT. I don't want to divorce in large part because of breaking up our family not to mention the difficulty that would be involve with co-parenting with someone who can't or won't make decisions. I am tired of always having to be the fall guy. I make the call and get crap for it. He won't make the call. Despite my trying to engage him. But then criticized the calls I make. It's exhausting. Right now the big debate is Xmas break and childcare. I am putting before him a list of aftercare options since we both work. Begging for input since they fill up quickly through the county. No response. Emailed. No response. Texted. No response. Have asked in person a handful of times and No commitment or no response, eyes glaze over. So it will be the same old. I make the call and register the kids and then get hell for it for picking the wrong choice. Same thing happened for summer camps. Same thing happens for every vacation we have taken since our honeymoon (the last thing he planned, BTW).

If I leave these things to him, there would be no camps, no aftercare, no vacations.

How could I share custody with someone like this? Not to mention, he isn't a bad guy. He's actually a good guy most of the time. Like I said, he's a pretty good dad. Just very helpless and then critical. I am working ass off and he has no motivation at all anymore. It's like he's given up any professional or financial success in his mid-40s. Where is the drive and winning go-get em attitude he used to have when we were dating and first married?

Like I said, I don't need Daddy Warbucks. But if you can't pickup the financial and career slack, at least help more at home instead of playing videogames until 2am, complaining you're tired the next morning, and forgetting to pay a bill again. [/quote]

I'm the PP whose similar DH got therapy and meds.  One small piece of advice for your sanity is that I wouldn't discuss all of these things with him.  I wouldn't mention The Xmas break aftercare at all, but just sign them up at a place that is convenient for you.  If he finds something different or better then great.  Who cares if you lose money.  Most likely he won't do anything.  When the day comes just take them to the aftercare place and let him know where they are.  Don't discuss anything.  Same things with camps.  You have to learn to do what needs to be done and ignore the complaints, criticisms.

If you are looking for validation for your DH on all that you do for him and the kids, you will never get it.

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