Reply to Why DON'T you set boundaries?

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Reply to "Why DON'T you set boundaries?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
It must be nice to go through life thinking everything is simple and clear-cut.

It's not.

[b]Usually people who have difficulty setting boundaries have interacted during their formative years with hyper-controlling, very strong-willed people who can manipulate and nag everybody until it's less exhausting to do what they want rather than fight.

[/b]Typically, everyone gets better at setting boundaries as they grow older and mature. Which means some door-mats learn to say no occasionally, and some strong-willed people get downright abusive, and cross boundaries more often.

[/quote]

And they have been doing this since these people were small children. When the children try to set limits, the whole thing escalates. Some parents do not want to have a relationship unless they control it. People who did not grow up this way have a difficult time imagining what this is really like for a child, then an adult.[/quote]

But now you are an adult.

You teach people how to treat you. If you write permission slips foe bad behavior, that's your choice.[/quote]

"You teach people how to treat you" sounds a lot to me like "she had it coming." Sorry. I will blame the perpetrator and not the victim.[/quote]

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