Reply to Why DON'T you set boundaries?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
It must be nice to go through life thinking everything is simple and clear-cut.

It's not.

Usually people who have difficulty setting boundaries have interacted during their formative years with hyper-controlling, very strong-willed people who can manipulate and nag everybody until it's less exhausting to do what they want rather than fight.

Typically, everyone gets better at setting boundaries as they grow older and mature. Which means some door-mats learn to say no occasionally, and some strong-willed people get downright abusive, and cross boundaries more often.

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Actually setting a boundary is simple and clear-cut. It's just hard.  
But it is nice as you surmise. Try it and see.[/quote]

You poor thing, I have set many boundaries in my life and this is why I have formed this opinion :-)

Only the very young or the very stupid think family relationship are simple. You may currently be willing to cut off your family or set less severe boundaries, but be careful. I have experienced that years down that path, when generations upon generations of family members become entangled in conflict and have nasty rumors handed down to them as fact, it makes for a lot of regret on both sides for previous rash decisions. These things cannot be undone later, or forgotten or forgiven (because often there's also money and inheritance involved, and that's really hard to forget).

When in doubt, it's best to do nothing. If the behavior is egregious, distancing oneself is better than cutting off ties.

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