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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Equity partners:

OP's post is terrifying, so I find it encouraging that some of you are saying it doesn't have to be that way in order to make equity partner. What advice would you give senior associates who want to build a book of business in a more humane way? Thanks.[/quote]

Equity partner here.  Building a book of business (I have one at age 40, previous comment above) is a combo of doing great legal work, being highly responsive and being visible.  The first is the easy part.  The second means that you are 24-7 responsive to good clients.  This does not mean you have to be in your office - we all have smart phones.  They are a leash but they are a long one and allow you to be home early.  If you have to excuse yourself from family dinner to take a call or respond to email, that is far understandable to not making it home.  If you have an old dinosaur boss who isn't responsive, his/her clients will start contacting you for quick answers and over time, see you as their attorney.

Third, and most important - build a smaller more intimate network.  Do not feel the need to go to every ABA/DRI/FDCC meeting.  Pick one organization, preferably an industry meeting where your clients are, and do it at a high level.  Be on steering committees, etc. speak, organize.  Don't waste multiple weeks just showing up at conventions and shaking hands.  You will not be memorable.  I feel like OP is spinning her wheels - if you are a jack of all trades, you are a master at nothing.  Be authentic in your relationships - as a person who was in-house noted, people can tell if you are only connecting because you want their business.  That is not authentic.  So maximize your time, join one board where your clients might be so you can do well while doing good.  Have conversations with those whom your kids go to school with, there are opportunities there.  Learn to say no to endless dinners where you are just filling a table for someone else's dinner (tough to do as a second year, but certainly doable as a 4th year).

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