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[quote=Anonymous]You sound like a real catch.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I could be your wife, OP.  I think I have always felt this way, but especially now that we have kids and I have some hormonal issues.

Before DH, I was in some really bad relationships.  Amazing sex and sexual attraction, but emotionally abusive.  When I met DH, I found him attractive and nice, but he didn't turn me on.   I [b]did not think that I could have both sexual attraction and someone who was a good guy[/b].  I wanted a good guy because I needed stability and wanted a great parent for my kids.  This all worked out great for the first few years.  Now it's taking it's toll.  I am about to start therapy again to figure it out.  Besides no sexual attraction, we get along great, have fun together, travel well together, etc.  I have brought up therapy to him, but he is against it.  So I figure I need to at least put myself in therapy b/c it's not fair to him.

Actually, I have to say, my DH is seriously like a 3rd child and that could definitely contribute to my lack of sexual attraction to him.   I need a man, not another person to pick up after. [/quote]

This. The guys I dated previously were either really nice but didn't turn me on, or turned me on but were jerks. I think I figured I couldn't have both. 
I also married young and am just bored. I constantly wonder what else is out there.[/quote]

To add, on my part at least, a lot of it is boredom. We've been together for so long that I have begun to view him as a companion rather than a "boyfriend" that I get excited about. He's handsome and a great dad, but after years of the same old day-to-day happenings, I think this may just be the nature of many marriages.
I am in incredible shape yet he rarely compliments me on my looks/figure, despite me communicating this to him. He never makes me feel sexy. He rarely wants to be affectionate unless it leads to sex. Over the years, I have found myself to be much more extroverted, and it annoys me when he doesn't want to attend events/parties/causal gatherings. He isn't a huge conversationalist (spends a lot of time on his iPhone and Nextflix) when I'd love to be out doing something or even staying in and doing something simple like cooking.

I have a fairly high drive and though he's attractive with a good body, I like the lights off so I can think of someone else. That sounds horrible, I know. (And I don't fantasize of move stars, but more everyday guys/dads that are flirty and complimentary).[/quote][/quote]

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