Reply to When a friend or family member is making a huge parenting mistake...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
PP here and no.  My nephew is a very, very bright but sensitive and well behaved boy and only 23 months old.  He has been home with a loving nanny who reads to him about two hours a day which he loves - and older books for four and five year olds.  This is a smart kid.  He is also small for his age.  My brother and SIL decided to send him to a big, franchised daycare for 8 hours a day at least and fire his nanny "to toughen him up".  I am opposed to everything about this plan but mostly his motivation.  I am a school psychologist and consultant for the top DC private preschools and I know this is a mistake.

I was a jerk to lose it on my SIL when she told me.  Now I do want to talk to my SIL and brother about this calmly.  And we are close - my brother's family and mine - having kids the same age and shuttling between each others houses for holidays and often evening date-night care.

[b]I feel I have to say something. [/b]   [/quote]

No, you actually don't.  This is not even close to the borderline of "have to say" or "mind your own business".  While you think you have professional experience that is relative, the point is that such a decision is made for many reasons, of which, they really don't need to either detail or justify to you.  Your experience is valuable and pertinent, but it really is none of your business to convey your personal experience UNLESS THEY ASK.  I would presume that they are well aware that you are "a school psychologist and consultant for the top DC private preschools".  If they had wanted input based on your expertise, they could have asked.  Unless you've hidden your job qualifications from them and never mentioned it, you don't flaunt this in their face.  They know what you do for a living and they have not chosen to ask for your opinion on their childcare arrangements, which means that you are offering not only unsolicited, but unwanted advice.

You've already been a jerk once.  Don't compound it by being a jerk again.[/quote]

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