Reply to Taking the plunge (adoption)

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, my spouse and I adopted a sibling group.  Two have some big behavioral SN due to prenatal exposures.  My advice to you would be to adopt one at a time. I think the PP who posted about the realities of the CP correction process sounded like he/she really understood the difficulties, and I think it would be tough to manage that along with a 6 year old.

I will tell you that I am glad that my kids have each other, and it would have been a life-altering tragedy for them had they been separated.  But because we have a significant amount of logistical and SN challenges, it is often quite difficult to have a chance to truly enjoy parenting in the way that I think we would have had we adopted one child at a time.

Were I considering your choices, I would probably opt for adopting only the 6 year old---because of the huge difference that focused bonding could make for a child his age.  My youngest was 6 when we adopted, and that age is definitely not too old for meaningful bonding.  Were you to have to contend with the intense physical needs of a much younger child with a physical disability, especially as a single parent, then I think that you will realistically be too tired to give the 6 year old the level of attention he needs and deserves as well.  [/quote]

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