Reply to Do you tell the wife that her wonderful husband cheated on her for two years?

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Reply to "Do you tell the wife that her wonderful husband cheated on her for two years?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Little story:

I have a friend and anytime I saw her DH and another friend together something just seemed off. I observed little looks between them, sly touches. A little too enthusiastic about each other, you know? I felt terrible for "seeing" these things and I always pushed it aside. Because I had noticed though I just kept noticing.

Three years go by and I guess the other friend can read my face after witnessing an interaction between the two and a few days later she comes clean to me. They, both married with children, have been having an affair for 8 years. She explains that they are both staying with their spouses "for the children" and that about 50% of his business trips are to a hotel with her about a mile from his home. I felt sick and wished I could unknow this information.

My friend believes she is happily married. She and DH are affectionate and fun together, great parents. Other friend's husband is a workaholic and pretty inattentive (doesn't mean he should be cheated on). I cringe whenever my friend walks about her wonderful marriage and homelife (often in front of other friend) and there is this huge proverbial gorilla in the room. I am in a position like the OP. I just do not know what to do. My gut tells me to tell my friend, that I myself would want to know. My brain says stay out of it MYOB.[/quote]

So the OW, a mutual friend, came clean to you with the expectation that you would not tell the wife, a mutual friend.  Sorry...not buying it. [/quote]

Yes. She said she had a feeling I knew something was up, she didn't just blurt it out, she felt me out a bit and finally just came clean. She of course asked me not to tell our friend and was very guilty and upset over it. I honestly told her I didn't know what to do but for now I just wanted to be left out of it. I myself asked her not to tell the husband that I knew (I just don't want to get any deeper) and she said she would not, but who knows, she likely has.

You don't have to buy it. I relayed my personal story to show what a bad situation it is to be in the middle and let the OP know s/he is not alone. No matter what I do here, I am completely damned. Stay out if, I'm keeping a terrible secret. Tell my friend and I'm likely ruining two marriages, betraying a friend, hurting children.[/quote]

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