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[quote=Anonymous][quote]s wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I will chime in on this because my experience is illustrative. I had 8 siblings and was raised by incredibly hard working, but working poor parents. My mother cleaned hotel rooms and was a CNA. My dad drove a taxi and was a security guard. They worked double shifts nearly every day. I can count on my hand the amount of times I would have seen them at school as a child, including things like the cute school performances I rush out of work to try to catch with my kids now. My parents made an effort to take us to museums that were free here, but they were exhausted and stressed and scared. We spent a ton of time alone.

I was a book work and read constantly. We received a free set of encyclopedias and as a young kid, I would spend hours during the summer reading random tidbits. It was fun for me. I was ran around outside with the siblings, went to our local pool (if we could scrounge up change to get in) and watched an intense amount of television.

I graduated at the top of my class in high school. Went to a great college, got a medical degree, and am the "American dream." People say that to my face. Three of my siblings had similar outcomes. The other four didn't. Depression, anxiety, and eventually substance abuse and crime took them from this world.

People aren't specimens. It's very difficult to tell what works, but for a sensitive kid, with potentially unserved special needs, being in a high poverty, stressful situation is a one way ticket to screwed.

I see it now, even. Living on the other side, there's just a greater margin of error in terms of life you have as an upper middle class family. It's a privilege.

Thank you for saying this pp. So many people are born on third base and like to imagine that everybody else is just lazy and lack accountability.

Thank you, I see this now even. I regularly hear the sentiment that poor people are lazy and the ESL farms students are ruining our schools and property values. I just sort of quietly mention that I, too, was an ESL student in Fairfax county. It usually shuts the jerk up. Or at least turns the topic to the ever fun "how do you do it all...working with kids." I always say it's easier when you only have one job!

My husband was a FARMS/ESOL kid. Poor Chinese kid graduated at the top of his class, went to med school and is now a successful surgeon. He likes the finer things in life. He worked hard because he hated being poor. He hated getting free lunch.[/quote]

PP here. No one likes getting the free lunch. But I hope your husband retained some sensitivity that the free lunch and breakfast might have been the only guaranteed meals for some of those kids. Poverty is incredibly stressful. I don't think people realize when you are worried about basic, basic needs, it really impairs your ability to learn. Particularly if you are a sensitive child.

I had a strong cognitive dissonance about my experience. I still do as an oncologist. I attribute it to my ability to separate circumstances from my existence. Not everyone can do that.

And yes, I like nice things. I live in a nice home, in a "good" Arlington zone. But I still feel for those kids and there is a part of me that will always be that poor girl, worried that she can't afford a winter coat or new shoes when her feet continue to grow.

I wish people had more empathy here. Many of them don't, though. I attribute it to the DC upper middle class areas being full of people who were raised well to do (or not poor), who had a modicum of success, and view it as though it's an indignity to have to share it with anyone else.[/quote]

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