Reply to When the wife tells you (female friend) to stay away from her husband

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "When the wife tells you (female friend) to stay away from her husband"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Healthy, stable relationships do not require EITHER partner to choose between their spouse and their friends.

I do not understand the people suggesting that the OP is doing anything untoward in this situation. It sounds like she tried to be a friend of the marriage, has steered clear of dangerous subjects to the best of her ability and has also complied with the crazy demands of this woman. I would never in a million years make my husband talk to the crazy wife/girlfriend of one of my male friends. If we were in that situation, I would say, "Paul, I will always consider you a friend, but I cannot be part of this situation and will not disrespect my husband by bringing him into her drama. If your situation changes, you know how to find us."

I do think that it's highly likely that the friend in this situation is the one with inappropriate boundaries. Not to mention that he is actively lying to his wife. He will get caught, and it really will not matter if he is lying about going to poker night with a male friend she doesn't approve of or banging a hooker on the hood of a car. She will be furious either way.[/quote]

I'm just happy to see there are a few sane people left around here.  The friend's wife is a fucking loon.  The friend might be an asshole who has inappropriate relationships with other women, but not the OP.  OP has done nothing wrong.  It's bizarre to expect that someone should purge old friends just because of marriage.

I couldn't be married to someone who treated me like that and didn't trust me -- but Id gtfo of the marriage and not bait the crazy by sneaking around and putting others in awkward situations.
[/quote]

PP here. I completely agree.

A good friend of mine (Jack) has some serious insecurity issues vis-a-vis his wife (Jane) socializing without him. They now have an agreement that they will not do "girls night" or "boys night." They will only do things out, together. This apparently includes either of them going out after work with colleagues. They have an open book policy about email and social media as well. As far as I know, this is something that was not motivated by any infidelity on either of their parts (actual or imagined). The open book policy has actually become problematic for me personally because I reached out to Jane for support with an issue I was having in my marriage (Jack and my husband are similar and have similar issues), and Jack got upset with both Jane AND me for that conversation, to the point where his anger resulted in her canceling a brunch date we had (this was pre-no solo socializing). The irony is that Jack was my friend first (since like 2002). He has been married to Jane since sometime in 2006. I met her for the first time in 2008 and went out of my way to become a friend of the marriage. The last time I saw Jack, Jane wasn't there. He and I had lunch alone, which was not a problem for him at all.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics