Reply to My ex is back 22 years later, claiming I was "the one"

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Reply to "My ex is back 22 years later, claiming I was "the one" - I'm not, at all."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well, when you say he flipped out when you rejected him and "in the 3 weeks it has been going on you have responded 5 times" it makes it sound like you've rejected the guy 5 times, so I can see why it would be bewildering. It's hard to tell from what you provided what part was innocent and what part was not.
  If you had normal conversations for 3 weeks and than at the end you rejected him with the 5th reply that's fine.  
If you rejected him and then over the course of the next 3 weeks you did it again  and again , that's a diff story[/quote]

I really didn't want to get any more specific than I have. When I say he flipped out when I rejected him, I meant when we broke up 20+ years ago.

He contacted me. I responded.

He asked a question about a mutual friend (my family member). I responded.

He mentioned my life he had "caught up" on over social media, said he missed out, that sometimes he feels I was the one. While in hindsight it was a bit creepy, I responded with a thank you, I'm really happy, my DH is amazing and my best friend etc.

He left a string of crazy messages about my coming out to visit said mutual friend and we could hook up. He then went into the tirade about how my life could have been with him. How our kids would have been etc. I responded with I am happily married, I am not interested

He then left a string of messages about my husband, about how he is better than my husband, again asking for an affair, again talking about soul mates. How he looked up my DHs professional information and he was "no big deal" like he was. I ignored, he escalated. I again said I am not interested, I am married, I've moved on, hes just feeling nostalgic.

He now has my phone number. Voicemails of all of the above. He thinks my DH is keeping me from talking to him, us from meeting up, saying that I can trust him, DH won't find out. I really want him to stop. I want to make it clear he needs to stop. I asked for advice on how to word that.

Right now, he is an ex who is having an episode of some kind. [b]I am not anticipating anything like stalking[/b] or worse, as I said I just want to be on the safe side and make this very clear to him. [/quote]

Umm.  Basically he is stalking you.  Stalking is when you have asked someone to not contact you and they continue to do so.  In one sentence via email or text tell him "please do not contact me again".  You must do this in writing so that you can file for a restraining order if things escalate.  Then do not respond in any way shape or form to his contacts.  You will also have to explain the situation to family members and ask them respond similarly if he is in touch with them again.

Please read "The Gift of Fear," it has some very good advice about dealing with these kinds of situations.  [/quote]

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