Reply to Men, how do you feel about being cheated on?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are a lot of posts by men in the Ashley Madison threads acting blasé about male cheating and suggesting it should be acceptable or expected.  Do you feel the same way about being cheated on?

[b]I had a boyfriend who used to talk a good game about monogamy being unnatural. As it turns out, I have a roving eye.  So, I cheated on him with a craig's list hook up and he found out when I accidentally left unsent a steamy e-mail I wrote the other guy.  I had gone to bed before my boyfriend came home and was actually woken up by his cry of agony.  He literally cried out loud as if he had been stabbed in the belly or something.  I was very surprised by his histrionics and tears, and felt bad.  I kept seeing the craig's list hook up and left my boyfriend for him.  My ex reacted very badly and became obsessed with me.  All these years later, I am still incredulous at how devastated he was by my cheating.  I would like to understand the male psyche better.[/b]

Would you be understanding if you found your wife's name on the Ashley Madison list?  Do you feel that female cheating is somehow more wrong or surprising?[/quote]

[b]Damn, that is crazy.

It is something I have never understood either. I have never cheated or been cheated on but I just remember the absolute UPROAR when Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson a couple years ago.  People acted like she had beaten a baby to death. It was a national scandal.[/b]

It is nice to hear I am not alone in my feeling on all of this.  I just don't see cheating as some grave sin, like murder, rape, theft, etc.  It's a private wrong between two parties, and its seldom as simple as a cheater being a scumbag.  Perhaps its because I easily separate sex from love.  And have seen so many people cheat (AM leak confirms its rampant).  Cheating causes me to shrug.  So to answer the OPs question, if my DW cheated on me, I would look at that in context with any other things that spouses do in the context of an otherwise happy marriage.  The mere fact that some man stuck his penis in my wife's vagina doesn't cause some intense reaction.  It's not like she was a virgin when she met.  I know I am an outlier here, based on all the vitriol going on.

Since then I have always felt perplexed by the outsized reactions to women cheating on men. It seems like it really triggers something in people, some very irrational place.  I can't imagine being soooo devastated by infidelity that I let out a wrenching scream... I mean, come on...[/quote][/quote]

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