Reply to Single Mother by Choice Rant

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[quote=Anonymous]So I'm guessing the OP is a mom who was kicked out of a Single Mother by choice group because she's NOT a single mother by choice.

You became a mother in a relationship - the relationship didn't work out so now you are single.  But the mother didn't happen while you are single you see.

Your ex - legally the father no matter how you feel it or see it obligated by the courts to pay child support.  You can sue him and if he can't pay the state will provide you cash based on your income.  He can always come back to claim custody provided he pays for the support. He is also listed on your child's birth certificate.

Your child's origin story is not filled with mommy going to the sperm bank or explaining to 2,000 social workers that you can care for a child on your own.  It did not involve you paying extra for a doula because no partner would be around, etc.

There are TONS of divorced parent groups for you to join - look there and stop moaning.

A good friend of mine was widowed when pregnant.  She is also not a Single Mom by Choice.  She is a Single Mom not by choice.

My best friend is divorced with three kids she adopted and her husband just left, no support, etc.  She is also a Single Mom not by choice.  But her kids origin story had a loving father in it.  The kids still think he's wonderful - she won't say a bad word about him but she is waiting for him to grow up.

As for sympathy, empathy, etc. never asked for it and only get it when I tell folks grandma is not in the picture.  I have a ton of friends and resources to care for my son.  I have partnered friends who don't have as many people.  I am blessed.

If I start dating and end up w a man who becomes my kid's "dad" then I will leave the SMC group because while I created my kid as single by choice I won't be a part of the conversation any more.  I will still value my SMC friends and continue those friendships.[/quote]

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