Reply to If you are a woman with kids who divorced at 40+, how are things?

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Reply to "If you are a woman with kids who divorced at 40+, how are things?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP again.  I have no interest in using custody as a bargaining chip, and I don't think that anyone really suggested that, just suggested that I be careful that my husband doesn't do that.  I don't think he would, and I really want my children to have great relationships with both of us.  I admit I would much prefer to be the primary custodial parent, but I am trying to think of what is best for the kids - I really have no idea if it's better for them to have 50/50 or a primary place.  I doubt he would be okay with me doing primary custody because he is really into the kids and has been very hands on.  Honestly, I still very much love my husband too so this makes it incredibly painful and I don't want to increase the pain for anyone, especially my kids.  I know that if we divorce, my feelings likely will change, but I really want to focus on having something good for my kids, who need their dad.

As far as whether he's had an affair, I don't know.  I have suspicions about an emotional connection with a coworker, but he really just seems to be angry at me because we have had a difficult marriage at times with getting into fights over dumb things, not really working through things, etc.

I just want to not collapse and feel like there is hope after all of this.  I realize I shouldn't just try to find a new husband ASAP, but I really crave companionship and love and having someone to talk to.  I can wait for that for years if need be, but I will be devastated if I end up alone for the rest of my life.  Especially because of all of my free time without my amazing children.  I guess this sounds pathetic, but I am in a pretty sad and pathetic place right now.[/quote]

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