Reply to other kids' cell phones at sleepovers

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I worry more about what the kids are posting online at parties.  I have found that DD's friends (age 11) just have really poor judgement and very little understanding of online safety.   [/quote]

So fix that. 
My ds is 11 and we have had plenty of conversations about what to post, what not to post, how to reply to others, how to ignore friend requests or messages from strangers. We have also had conversations about what is and is not appropriate for viewing and how you can't unsee something once you've seen it...and what to say to a friend if they're viewing or attempting to show something inappropriate. He knows that innocent searches can bring up unrelated images, and he will ask me to google something and find links for him if it's a topic that he's concerned about what may show up.

Instead of limiting access so much, teach your kid how to be responsible with technology. I'm not saying to turn a blind eye...definitely stay aware and involved, but limiting without teaching accomplishes nothing. [/quote]

It doesn't matter that you have had tons of conversations. I have too with my DD. Kids that age just don't really get it. They just don't. And couple that with many of them having poor impulse control.  Parents like you are a serious problem because you are so incredibly naive.  I have found my DD with her friends doing incredibly stupid stuff and all involved had been told many times by parents, at school, etc.  [/quote]

Not the PP, but parents like you are the problem. A child who does "incredibly stupid stuff" with the technology, has poor impulse control, and keeps violating your technology use guidelines has no business having a smartphone until they can prove they are responsible enough to have one. [/quote]

So true. So many parents assume that all kids are like theirs. They're not. Some kids are rule followers and would never dream of doing something they've been told not to, and others will do whatever they can get away with, and there is a whole spectrum in between. Know your kid, teach your kid, and make rules accordingly. And regardless of your kid and your rules, keep a watchful eye. [/quote]

Even if you assume that your 11-year-old will use social media with as much sophistication as an experienced professional PR person at all times because you've spoken many times about the risks of social media, the issue is that it's not just your kid. You have to assume that all kids at a sleepover will act with that level of sophistication if you're going to give them unfettered access to smartphones and devices at a sleepover.

Honestly, though, I think some of you on here must just be parents of toddlers, because no actually checked-in parent of an 11-year-old would be so naive. [/quote]

How old are your kids, pp?
I have one out of college and married, two in college, one in high school, and an 11 year old. Every single one of them is different and required different balances between trust and hovering. Some kids keep themselves on the straight and narrow, others jump at any opportunity, others are sneaky about it, some will speak up, some won't, some will confess, some won't. I have raised them all.

Why are you so quick to assume that all preteens are up to no good? 
I was a good kid, without hovering parents. They trusted me and I honestly never betrayed their trust. I know all of my kids, and one is like I was, the rest aren't, but it is not fair for you to assume that anyone who has a kid who follows the rules and will speak up when others aren't is just naive.

This is why I hated being a teenager. Adults always assume teenagers are irresponsible and up to no good. [/quote]

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