Reply to So how hard is it really to be a single mother (by choice)?

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Reply to "So how hard is it really to be a single mother (by choice)?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I am a single mother by choice through adoption. My answer to how hard is it  has varied by age. In the first two years, when I felt I barely had a moment to breathe,it was hard, and could get lonely at times. But, in many ways, it didn't seem much harder than parenting a baby and toddler as a married person would be. All my married mom friends were just as tired, and had minimal downtime. Now that I have a tween, and my house and car are ten years older, I do feel like having another income, and someone else to deal with home repairs and other assorted life issues would make my life much, much easier. As kids get older, some parenting decisions become more complex. There is added pressure in making those decisions alone, but also added freedom. I get to make all the decisions and choices for my child's future, for better or worse.
Also, really think about how much you want to continue dating and whether you want to eventually marry. Everyone knows a single mom who found true love. But, in my experience, those single moms who marry are almost always divorced moms who are getting re-married. Dating as an SMC is much, much more difficult than dating as a divorced mom with shared custody, who gets lots of time to date without having to get a sitter, is capable of going away for the weekend, etc. Most SMCs I met when I adopted ten years ago are still single.
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