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[quote=Anonymous]Hi OP,

My daughter was raped at 15 and told us at 16.  I feel for you--it's so awful it's almost unbearable.

I will tell you our experience, and everyone has their own.  We lived in another state, and the law there is if you see a doctor, tell a school counselor, tell a therapist, go to a rape crisis center, anything-- it gets reported to the police.

Now i understand the reason for the law. However, the ramification on the victim is that they do not report. It's like asking a kid to jump off a cliff blindfolded.

In my daughters case, she held it in for so long (and we saw NO evidence of what happened for that year) and then all of a sudden she crashed. She told us, and fell apart. She couldn't go to school, which was horrible--after several weeks rumors started to fly around her school about why she was out. Eventually things got so bad, that we picked up our whole family and moved here.  Yes, we actually left the state to escape this situation.

She's 18 now and has been in and out of therapy. She definitely has lasting scars from this trauma.

Not sure I have advice except to check out state laws and know what you are in for if you tell anyone. Be prepared because things will very quickly be out of your control.

Or detective told us that in "he said she said" situations over 90 percent are not prosecuted by the DA because there's too little proof. Knowing that, putting your kid through having police involved absolutely 100 percent intensifies the amount of stress in the situation--- and I'm not advocating not reporting it, I'm just warning you to be prepared for that.

I hope you and your daughter find peace.

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