Reply to Regretting taking the mommy track

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Reply to "Regretting taking the mommy track"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]OP you were in biglaw expecting to stay as partner/counsel or senior attorney, what was your DH doing during that time? Was he also in biglaw and now has left to go be in some kind of investment realm? It sounds like you expected that he'd stay and make partner -- is that true?

You do realize that partnership isn't in anyone's hands -- not even the best associates out there. In the matter of a few months -- firms can go from saying "you're the best we're definitely making you partner this yr" to "sorry - you're not THAT good, it ain't happening and you can leave." These decisions are all about the finances of the firm, the ebb and flow of work etc. But to be on the "receiving" end of that decision can be horrific for some. I know I for one went into a -- I don't want to be a lawyer, I don't want to work hard ever again bc it never pays off for me -- funk. Now granted I didn't have a family to support so I had the luxury of that pity party, but it's been 18+ months for me and I'm just now starting to re-engage with my career a little bit -- and even now I know I have a long way to go get back to my old self that wants to commit and work hard and try to move up. Any chance your DH is in some kind of funk like that where he's feeling like his professional life is a waste?[/quote]

I tried to explain that to OP upthread. She isn't getting how capricious the legal industry is and how many "great" attorneys find themselves by the wayside even after giving 150 percent to their firms. It's brutal.

I think the bigger issue is that OP thinks she could have done it better than her DH and resents him for it. That was the fatal flaw in her choice to ramp down. Deciding to mommy track yourself was a personal choice and one OP doesn't own. Instead she blames her DH for either failing to be the success she could have been if she didn't sacrifice her career for the family or blames DH for not doing enough at home to effectively co-parent as a married dual working couple (although in biglaw, OP could have afforded to outsource enough, including white house nannies on sick days to avoid the latter gripe).

Nonetheless, this won't end well. It is almost a cautionary tale.[/quote]

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