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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, others are right that you can't force your sister to come.  But I will also say, [b]I think it sucks she won't come because she doesn't like the weather.  Clearly your family is grieving a young relative.  That's awful.  I'd want my sister move and heaven and earth to be with me.  Death is a stark reminder that we don't get do-overs.  Showing up MATTERS.[/b]  Always go to a funeral.

It's sad she won't chose to come.  But no amount of guilt or pressure will change the fact that it's still her choice.

I'm sorry about your cousin OP.  I wish you peace.[/quote]

This.

It's not about me trying to force her or being the boss of her. It's just that it seems a little selfish to not show up. There are numerous funerals I wouldn't have wanted to attend but I go because funerals are about supporting the others around you.

It isn't about money with her, she says she just can't stand the politics and weather in this area which I think is a really non issue for not going to a funeral. [/quote]

OP, it sounds like you're actually kind of envious of your sister. The fact that you mention that you went to funerals you went to (but did not want to), suggests maybe you're jealous of your sister's ability to say "no" to expectations.

I gotta say, while you *think* you're taking the moral high road by saying you "support the others around you," it also shows a bit of your true colors. You admit you did not actually want to go. I also don't think your attitude is as "supportive" as you think it is.

So maybe you should focus less on your sister, and more on you? [/quote]

Disagree. It's called being an adult and doing things that need to be done and not being a baby about your preferences.[/quote]

What exactly "needs" to be done? The cousin passed away. Sister going to the funeral isn't going to make the cousin alive again. What exactly will your sister going critically accomplish?

It really sounds like you're investing a lot into assumed "should do" obligations based only on what you think is some made up "need." It does come off as petty kind of jealousy in a way.

Are you older, and is is your sister younger? Being an adult means not trying to control other grownups. [/quote]

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