Reply to DH's job hunt: help me not be an ass.

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Reply to "DH's job hunt: help me not be an ass."

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[quote=Anonymous]Hi - I've been through this twice with my husband. I'm primary breadwinner anyway, so theoretically he could could be SAHD. He's not cut out for it.

It is really hard.  I understand how irked you can be coming home from a long day at work to the second shift and someone who hasn't been working.  Last time my husband was unemployed he built a fancy desk and shelving unit for Legos and a train table.  But he never did the laundry.

What worked for us was after an explosion or two, he picked a couple of areas to step up and owned them.  He does all the grocery shopping and list making.  Sure, he has an over the top system with a printed checklist in the order of the aisles, but it's done and it's done well.  He did all the doctor checkups, field trip chaperone, and after a long discussion, we discontinued after care for the older child.  I also take tasks and break them up: "do you want to put child to bed or make our dinner."  "Geez, its messy.  Do you want to straighten the kitchen or the family room."  All work is easier if you're in it together.

At the same time he was diligently job hunting, but if you're a specialist, it just doesn't take all day.  Now, he's got a better job than before and is really happy.  While I'm happy too, my half of the doctor's appointments and such is kind of a bummer.[/quote]

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