Reply to Found out that close family member is a child (sex) abuser.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We experienced something similar in our family only the abuser (a grandfather) had died by the time my close relative was able to disclose the abuse (she was a young adult at the time).  We have never identified another person abused by this individual but of course can't rule it out.  I would be very worried that your uncle could continue to abuse; you sound as though you are dismissing that as a possibility but really you cannot know the shape of his life and who he might have access to now or in the future.  Abusers carry many secrets.

If I were you I would consult a therapist with expertise in childhood sexual abuse and discuss what to do.  While normally I think it's your cousin's decision whether to disclose this further, because your uncle is still free in the community I am not sure whether the need to protect other children might supersede your cousin's needs.  You need more counsel right now than DCUM can provide.

I would also try to talk further with your cousin about the risk that your uncle might continue to abuse or be currently abusing, and your concerns about protecting children beyond your own child.  It's great that you believed him/her immediately and have stressed that to him/her.  You have a responsibility and an opportunity right now.

I would not push your cousin to disclose to his/her mother.  There may be many reasons why your cousin is not comfortable doing this and disclosure may not go well.  For all you know, your aunt already has an inkling about the abuse and has denied or minimized it.  This is the most common scenario though not the only one.

[/quote]

Spot on.[/quote]

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