Reply to Found out that close family member is a child (sex) abuser.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not your place to disclose? I hope you aren't serious. That man is a sex offender and he needs to be handed over to the proper authorities. It doesn't matter how much your families world will shatter what if there are other kids? What if there are other kids in the future? Now that you know you absolutely have the duty to stop that guy. People staying silent is the main reason for children getting abused every day. Wake up! You know now. You now have a responsibility.[/quote]

I didn't post that, but I agree that it is not the OP's place to disclose someone else's abuse. That person is an adult now and is entitled to disclose or not disclose. Many times, when an adult comes forward with abuse that occurred in childhood, there is nothing legally to be done about it because the statute of limitations has passed. The only repercussions are social, and many, many victims are not believed, particularly if the perp is well regarded by his/her family and community. People also often wonder why the victim is disclosing now, after all these years. Maybe it came up in therapy and the cousin was working on it. Maybe the cousin has a child of a similar age and is now concerned for someone else's wellbeing as well. There are lots of reasons.

Either way, I believe that if the victim does not want the abuse disclosed/charges pressed/etc., that is their choice. The OP can choose to distance herself and her family from the relationship with the accused perp or not, but it is not her place at all to confront the aunt and uncle what the cousin said.[/quote]

So you think the situation at Penn State was a-okay?! Because when victims don't come forward, it's okay for the abuser to just keep abusing? Because when people like Paterno know and turn a blind eye, it's okay because it's "not their place" to disclose someone else's abuse!?[/quote]

I have NO idea how you got from my post that I think that sexual abuse is okay. Of course I don't think it's okay. I do think that because the OP's cousin disclosed the abuse in confidence, it would be a huge violation of trust for the OP to turn around and confront the abuser and tell his wife. I think that the cousin should do that, but I appreciate the many reasons why victims of sexual abuse (children and adults) are reluctant to come forward. I would personally be unwilling to break the confidence of a victim of sexual assault, no matter how many years it's been. That person has been victimized enough and it is up to them to decide how to act now.[/quote]

But in lieu of the victim coming forward, the abuser can continue abusing for years. That is what I'm saying. OP has a duty to say something or other kids could be abused. It's horrific. [/quote]

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