Reply to Can we talk about married sex - nonexpicitly? What is the actual norm?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honest question, no judgement.

Those that have sex only once a month or the like, do you feel connected and actively in love with your spouse? I know love isn't all sex, I just think that would be an awfully big anvil hanging in the room.[/quote]

Once a monther here.  I would say that I love my husband dearly.  Am I in love with him?  No, not really.  He is one of the most important people in my life and I adore him, but not in a romantic passionate way.  Will that come back?  I'm unsure.  But we are excellent domestic collaborators and I'm not sure I'd want to raise children with anyone else.  He's an amazing father.[/quote]

This sounds like it could be my DW talking. But, perhaps unlike PP's DH, I feel less inclined to be collaborative the longer we go without sex. I mean, I go ahead and collaborate anyway, because it's my home, my kids, etc. I put aside my emotions and get the job done, but if my DW and I aren't having sex, it's a lot more of an effort. When we haven't had sex, it's more like "I'm busting my ass for this woman." When we have had sex, it's more like, "I'm busting my ass for us." The latter is a work of joy, the former is a work of duty. [/quote]

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