Reply to Husband has drinking problem causing MFI, what would you do?

Forum Index » Infertility Support and Discussion

Reply to "Husband has drinking problem causing MFI, what would you do?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Okay, here is a quick update from the OP. After reading your responses, I told my husband that he needs to decide whether he wants to stay with me and stop drinking, or whether he wants to leave and pursue a separate life. He wants to stay, and has vowed to not drink for a year. So that is good. But there was some pushback... he doesn't think he has a problem, he said he's not sure if he even wants kids (not sure if he's serious or if he's just saying this to hurt me), he said that he's staying because it's the obvious adult choice but he feels backed into a corner by the ultimatum. He said he would go to counseling but sounded unhappy about it. I may have made a mistake by giving him an ultimatum but I'm not sure what else I should've done... it seems to me that the only choices are to stay together without drinking, or to split up. This "only drinking on the weekend when the wifey says I can" middle-ground is really not working.

So best case scenario is that he doesn't drink for a year, realizes that he's better off not drinking, and we can go on and have kids after that year is over. Worst case scenario is that he resents me, starts drinking in private, etc.

To the person who asked if we have much to talk about... when we first met 15 years ago we had so much fun, had a ton to talk about, everything was so fresh and new. But at this point we have enough to make it through an hour or two of conversation at night and that's about it. I don't really view it as a problem... we both have pretty boring, technical jobs that aren't fun to talk about, we talk about current events a little bit, but not much else otherwise. I think that may be normal after you've been together for a while, but I'm not really sure. [/quote

Your husband is only going to quit drinking if HE wants to stop.  He won't be successful only doing it for someone else.  You're missing the point.  He has to want to quit drinking and he has to want to have kids.

Infertility may be taking a huge toll on both of you.  I was surprised how much it affected my husband.  I would take a break from treatments and focus on getting your life together.  Meaning, find new activities and focus on being good to one another.  Revisit children later.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics