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[quote=Anonymous]"he's staying because it's the obvious adult choice"

WHAAAA?!?! If my DH said he was staying because it was the "adult choice" I would soooo be out of there! You don't stay in a marriage because it's the adult choice. You stay because you love and respect the other person, have shared goals and can't imagine growing old with anyone else.

And he told you he doesn't want to have kids. No, just No. Because if he suddenly back tracks and says "Okay I'll have them because I love you", your life will be hell. He will make you do all the hard work, because you wanted the little rug-rats not him. He will hate the life you have because kids are HARD.

AND...you don't give an ultimatum unless you are willing to leave him. You can't even say no to his pouting about having a drink for one weekend. What will you do when he drinks next week or goes out with the guys next month or has 1 drink at christmas or 20 drink on NYE. What will you do? Are you ready to separate from him the moment he drinks? If the answer is no, then your word has lost credibility. So anything else you say will be meaningless.

Stop, just stop trying to control him. You can't. Get into therapy and/or alnon. Where you will learn all you can do is control yourself.

"I don't like how much you drink. But I can't stop you from drinking. I think you have a problem. I don't want to have kids or be married to someone with a drinking problem who isn't getting help. So, if you choose to drink and/or not get help, I will leave you. I will leave immediately. I will not negotiate. And I will stay away until you get help. If you choose to not get help, I will divorce you."[/quote]

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