Reply to Does your 12 year old "date"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
True.  But they aren't going to get a cell phone/lap top/iPod pregnant.

No one is saying that they are still babies.  I remember being that age myself.  But 12 is still a kid and they should enjoy their childhood while they have it.  There is plenty of time for the more grown up stuff later on.  [/quote]

Silly PP. Going to the movies doesn't cause pregnancy. Sperm meeting egg is what causes pregnancy, and that can happen in all kinds of places.[/quote]

Well, duh. And somehow people still manage to make babies every day.  Besides, pregnancy is only one of the factors to consider.  If Larla breaks up with Larlo than Larlo's social life is effectively OVER.  He can't hang out with Larla and the group anymore because Larla has Howie now and Howie doesn't want to see Larla with Larlo anymore....His buddy Aidan is hooked up with one of the girls in the group...he sees what happened to Larla/Larlo and now he worries about staying in the good graces of his girl.  So he does whatever he is told to stay in the group.

Again, what 12/13/14 year old kid needs that?  Better to go out on a real date when they are *really* ready than these manufactured "dates".[/quote]

I don't understand the difference between a "real date" and a "manufactured date". It sounds to me like the OP's son and his buddy want to go to the movies with two friends who are girls. Is that a "manufactured" date? If so, who is manufacturing it? Also, is it possible that a 12/13/14-year-old might actually really be ready to date?

What's more, the middle-school drama you're alluding to can (and does) happen perfectly well without there ever having been any date of any sort at all. You're not going to protect your child from it by forbidding your son/daughter to go to the movies with a girl/boy.[/quote]

You see no difference between Larlo breaking up with Larla and Larlo breaking up with Larla, Aidan, Jessica?

Yes, these dramas occur between 2 kids who meet and go out in HS. But losing your entire circle of childhood friends upon a break up would be pretty devastating to a kid.  Of course, that can happen even without dating or romantic involvement of any kind.  But romantic involvement can complicate things - you might find yourself deciding whether or not to stay with a guy/girl that you really aren't that interested in OR break up and lose your peer support group.  That's pretty heavy.

I just think that kids should be able to date w/o so much risk.  Build your own friendships first. Then date.[/quote]

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