Reply to Spin-off from toddler at wedding thread: okay to request not to bring baby to wedding?

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Reply to "Spin-off from toddler at wedding thread: okay to request not to bring baby to wedding?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous](1) It's called a child free wedding. Yes, it is a thing and you wouldn't be inventing it - you're free to choose that for yourself. Some people will be annoyed, but I found with weddings, you really can't please anyone, so just please yourself & your spouse without out & out disrespecting others. But, you achieve this by mentioning "child free" on the invitation, not individually to specific people whose specific children you do not want in attendance. Do not approach your SIL about this. Just announce that it is a child free wedding.

(2) Your list of grievances seem unfair to me. You took offense at not being "family" when you were just the girlfriend. You were not yet family. Now that you are engaged, you are family-to-be and thus should be included going forward, but to take offense that your SIL did not make her brother's girlfriend a bridesmaid is just reading too much into things, IMO. Being invited last minute to things - it's careless but it's not malicious. When dealing with ILs, it's helpful to not attribute malice when all you know is that they forgot to consider something that would be important to you; that's not the same as plotting to hurt you. Things are much less dramatic when you don't assume to know some one's intentions. [/quote]

The first part of this makes sense.  Except that SIL will of course (if she is anything like my SIL) think she is the exception.  Even if you told the rest of your family that there will not be any children (including first cousins, nieces/nephews, whomever).  Yup, SIL is the exception of exceptions.  :sarcasm:  And this behavior of SILs will continue for the duration of your relationship.  The one thing SIL has given you is fair warning of her louse behavior, OP.  Know that.

Your wedding, your rules.  ESPECIALLY if you are paying for it yourselves.  Period.

[/quote]

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