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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I didn't want kids. DH did. Before we got engaged, we agreed on one, even though he wanted more like three or four.

After two years of marriage, we got pregnant and had a baby. I was not excited at ALL. I could only envision myself being an even mediocre mother to a son. We got a girl. I was basically devastated and tried to talk DH into finding some woman who had a boy but wanted a girl, and then negotiate a switch. He insisted we try out our daughter. She's now three. I love her, and the second one who came after her.

I still can't stand other people's kids. I probably don't get as excited about my kids milestones as other people do. I hate kid toys and kid-centric things like Disney or whatever else.

If you don't want kids, don't have them. It's not fair to the child. [/quote]

New poster here. I am almost in the same position as this PP. I said I wasn't sure if I ever wanted kids before marriage and asked my then-boyfriend/now husband if it was a dealbreaker--he said no, so I proceeded with the marriage. After we got married, he said he did not recall the conversation and said he never would have said that. After a year, all he could talk about was me getting off the pill. I got off but did not have sex with him for a few months because I did not want a kid. We had sex once and he was like, don't worry, if it will take months of trying before getting pregnant so by the time we get pregnant, you will be ready. It was Valentine's Day. I felt bad so I went ahead and did the deed. We got pregnant. I was devastated and he was thrilled.

I love her, and we have a second now ([b]I refused to have one child[/b]), who I also love, but I would be much, much, happier without having kids. It is not how I wanted to spend my time. It is not enjoyable or fulfilling for me. Yes, there are joyful moments, but for me personally, it is not worth the sacrifice. I also can't stand kid-centric activities. I normally just tell my husband to take her to those places...I am not interested. Don't do it if you don't want kids. If he really wants kids, get out now and find someone who does not have kids who does not want them either so you can be happy having the same lifestyle.[/quote]

This is rather strange. You'd be much happier without children, so you decided to have more? Wouldn't you be less resentful, more rested and generally happier with one rather than two?[/quote]

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