Reply to How to deal with parents & in-laws who just don't get that we're busy?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A PP here.  Everyone knows that not everyone is going to have the same relationships with parents.  And I think that in my my first PP, I said that for anyone that has a decent realtionship with their parents, OP is doing it wrong.  But in typical DCUM fashion, folks blur lines, add facts and project their own experiences.  Maybe I missed it, but OP did NOT say that he she has a bad relationship with her family and father.  If she had said that, I would would have been more willing to give her a pass.  She and her family are too busy to have regualr interaction with her in-laws and her family.

Let me project a bit.   I think I take offense a those people who seem to think that those of us who make time for our parents lead unfulfilling and insignificant lives.  Many of you have the opposite view - that your lives are so important and fulfilling that you fit in your parents when you can - but living your life is your priority.  We are a very busy family.  But I actually enjoy talking to my parents and my siblings and I do not feel that they are an intrusion at all.  They enhance my life, they do not take from it.  They are in their golden years and there will come a time that they will not be around.  My DH lost his dad a few years back and often says that he wishes his dad was around to talk to about life challenges and stuff.  It is not a sign of weakness to make time for people you love.  [/quote]I agree with you completely.  It sounds like some people just can't put themselves mentally in their parents' shoes even though they hopefully will be filling those shoes at some point themselves.  And it makes me sad that this is often coming from the DIL.  Like you, I am not talking about difficult relationships.  I can just imagine some hypothetical future where my grown son and his wife are talking about how I just don't get how BUSY they are and they don't have time.  I couldn't do that to my parents or inlaws.  [/quote]

Count me as another one who agrees with both of you.[/quote]

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