Reply to Did your parents cheat? How did you feel about it?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Haven't read through the pages, but my dad cheated on my mom repeatedly and left her for another woman (shockingly, it didn't work out).  As an adult, I really don't think about it and am not hurt by it.  He cheated on her, not me.  Also, everyone makes mistakes, and there are two sides to every story.  I just don't feel like it is my place to judge him too harshly for things he did a long time ago.[/quote]

Yeah destroying a family and ruining your mom's life isn't a big deal.  what's worse....murder?   [/quote]

I didn't say it wasn't a big deal.  I'm just saying I haven't allowed it to be a big deal for me and my adult life.  I could choose to let it destroy our relationship but I'm not sure what good would come of that.  My father is a troubled man who did things that show that he was troubled - cheating is just one of many.  He has apologized to me for his behavior, and I've forgiven him and moved on.  My mother was damaged by the things he did, I'm sure, but she was damaged in her own right and was not a great partner.  Even as a small child, I could tell that they were not well matched.  No one ruined anyone else's life, and I'm not sure how being righteous and hostile advances anyone's interests here.  Should I treat my father like a loser for life?  Is forgiveness somehow the wrong choice?  I choose to believe that there is a better and calmer way that makes everyone involved happier but in no way condones the behavior.  [/quote]

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