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[quote=Anonymous]I'm the "Ultimatums DO work" poster, responding to some questions:

[quote=Anonymous]Interesting.  How did she increase her desire?  I ask because my husband simply won't get hard.   As a woman it may be physically easier for her to have sex without being highly arounsed.  I would have to not just give an ultimatum but somehow increase his desire too.  Usually when I've talked to him about sex he says I stress him out and he is no longer able to perform.  [/quote]

Her desire didn't ever really increase. However she is now able/willing to "play along" (in a very convincing fashion) a couple times per week. Does your H know how to operate a sex toy for your benefit? Teach him.

[quote=Anonymous]Did she cry and resist, or remain in denial for a period of time?  Is she really into now, or just going through the motions? If a genuinely interested participant, what changed?[/quote]

It definitely was NOT an overnight fix. Took many weeks even months to stabilize. She's not just going through the motions, or if so, then I can't really tell. She is highly "interested" in a happy marriage and meeting my legitimate needs. What changed is she realized that she would lose an otherwise pretty decent marriage over her inability (or unwillingness) to meet a very reasonable and completely normal need for sex. And that I likewise meet some of her non-sexual needs even if I don't entirely share that same need equally. Oh and the sex isn't really ever "bad" even when it's not her own idea to do it. Helps that I'm a pretty generous lover.
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