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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My wife is the low libido one. She'll often not feel like it when I try to initiate. She has ruled out morning sex pretty much permanently. She falls asleep on the couch at 9:30 many evenings. So, we routinely go 2-3 weeks without sex.

But, to make it worse, I have this passive aggressive side of me that - when we've gone a long time without sex - makes me want to extend the time we've gone without sex to, I don't know what - "show her," I guess. I don't want to have sex because I'm resentful about not having sex.

Then we'll have sex again, and it will be all good during that first week - when I'll try and usually fail to have sex again. The resentment resumes at weeks 2 and 3. Fucked up, I know. 
[/quote]

I could have written this a year or two ago.  2 weeks without sex, I really started hating my DW.  Then we would have sex, I would feel great about the relationship. Even if I wanted to remain mad at her about the infrequency, I couldn't.  I had a couple of brief affairs.  Crazy fun in the moment, really sad to see what you are missing with a fun and energetic sex partner.  But not worth the worry of getting caught, STDs, etc.  And AP always wanted more of my time and energy than I could offer.

Kids got older, DW was more receptive, we are back to once a week, which I consider low frequency.  Honestly, the truth is DW is just not that sexual.  She goes weeks without masturbating.  Just doesn't need sex as often.  I have come to accept the fact that masturbation is preferable to sex with a disinterested partner.  If we have sex once a week or so, there is a chance she will be into it.  If more frequently, almost certainly just going through the motions.

She is a fantastic woman and wife, just not a great sex partner.  I think our situation is fairly typical.   Once you set your expectations to what is realistic in a long-term heterosexual marriage, it is easier to accept reality.  [/quote]

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