Reply to Complicated Issue: Best Way to Blend this Unique Family????

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Reply to "Complicated Issue: Best Way to Blend this Unique Family????"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
OP:

Don't you think that this man's children should be prioritized in this situation?  He's not thinking clearly, but YOU are not whipsawed by grief, so perhaps you should think about what would be best for his girls?  How do you think he will feel about you, years from now, when he realizes that he harmed his relationship with his girls by moving ahead too quickly with you?

1.  You acknowledge that his girls, who are grieving their not-long-dead mom, are disturbed by the situation.  You wrote (about this man's daughters) that "they're not terribly excited about another woman entering the picture--much less the home."  Yet you don't care. You want what you want, and you're not bothered by the way this may harm vulnerable young girls who are grieving their dead mother.

2.  You acknowledge that your ideal situation would be that in which his girls all move out: You wrote: "Having all 3 away at college would be ideal."  I pity these girls.  They will never feel comfortable coming home for Thanksgiving or any other holiday.

3. You HOPE that your presence will make his girls too uncomfortable to return often to their home: you wrote: "...like most college students they may become so absorbed with their own lives that they really won't care what their father and I do. Or who knows, having a stepmother move in may make dorm living look really good."

4.  You don't care about these girls.  You want them gone so that you can move in and take over their dead mother's home.

5.  The girls can perceive your feelings about them.  They sense that you don't want them.

6.  Some women could turn into a caring, supportive friend for these children.  You, however, are going to cause them a lot of hurt.  
	
[/quote]

+1.  Sorry this man is lonely, but his children's feelings matter too.  [b]Your true intentions are all too clear, OP-- to get their dad and their childhood home, and get them out of the picture as soon as possible.  They will know, and they will make your marriage a disaster.  It's hard enough being a stepparent, even of college students, without trampling over their grief. [/b] How sad that if they lost their one surviving parent, they would lose their childhood home as well.

Why don't you just keep dating and let the rest of this go for a while.  [/quote]

OP here...For some reason the bolded made me LOL!

Thanks for sharing your views.[/quote]

Thank you for wasting our time, OP. You are something else.[/quote]

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