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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]

With activities 6 days per week, why add play dates if they're stressful?

Because kids need to figure out how to hang out with a friend, think up activities to do, and resolve disagreements in a less structured environment where they are not being told what to do by an adult every second.

I agree but that means cut back on activities and tell the kids to go bike and play. Organizing their friends is hovering. [/quote]

I don't know what you mean by "organizing their friends."  My son tells me who he wants to invite over for a play date, if anyone.  I send the mom an email asking if the kid can come.  Since many of his friends can't read too well, it probably wouldn't work for him to do that on his own. He just turned 6, and isn't all that great of a bike rider, so he can't bike to a friend's house yet.  There is one boy he is friends with who lives within walking distance, and they can get together more informally, but if he indicates an interest in getting together with other boys, I'm happy to take less than 5 minutes to send the email.[/quote]

So have your 6yr old call the other boy and ask to come over.  Did your parents call other moms for you or tell you to?  Parents setting up playdates is hovering and scheduling for your child.  [/quote]

Who is getting these 6 yr olds to/from each other's houses?  Do the 6yr olds know everything the family has scheduled for a weekend?  Yes, around 6-7 yrs old we started teaching the kids to make the phone call, ask to speak to friend, but at some point in there the phone has to get transferred to the parents to deal w/ logistics.  And, often email is just more efficient.  Now at 10-11 yrs my kids handle those calls/texts on their own but they still have to clear things with the parents for transportation and scheduling.

No, my mom didn't call kids to set up play time for me but when I was 6 I was allowed to go anywhere in my neighborhood including to the park to see who was hanging out there or could just knock on someone's door.  I'd get arrested if I did that today.[/quote]

Actually you wouldn't.  There is no such law that a 6yr old can not play outside on their own.  My 7yr old and her friend go off to the park up the street on their own all the time.  [/quote]

Fine, not arrested, but taking a serious risk of being investigated by CPS and risk having my kids held by the police for hours (see recent free-range craziness).  In Arlington the official "guidance" (yes, I know it's not the law but I'm not going to risk losing my kids for even a day while I fight CPS over that distinction) is "8 years and under : Should not be left alone for any period of time. This includes leaving children unattended in cars, playgrounds and yards."  So, no my 6-7 yr old kid wasn't walking the 6 blocks to our park and if he did he wouldn't find any kids there unless we arranged it ahead of time, which we did, with parents taking turns supervising. [/quote]

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