Reply to Does your elementary school use the "stoplight"/shame system

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Reply to "Does your elementary school use the "stoplight"/shame system"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]I'm a teacher in Virginia and use the "stop light" system. Why, because I don't have time to sit there and have a discussion with your child Everytime he decides to play around and not follow directions.[/b] Especially if I have already outlined my expectations and given both verbal and written directions. My students know why they are changing their color and they are able to move their color back if their behavior improves. However, once they teach red they will be joining me in an instant phone home. I don't have time to teach 30 kids and also deal with the fact that your kid has not stopped talking the past 5 times I asked them.

Now I say all that but let me say that I give my students plenty of advanced warnings, have clear guidelines for behavior and expectations and keep my kids engaged all day. I give them downtime when I notice that they need a break and only make them change their colors when I've exhausted all other means (a warning, a quick check in with them and then a discussion). But if your child is being a little disrespectful snot then by all means, expect to hear from us. [/quote]

But it sounds like that's what you're already doing. My child went to a school that did a clip chart with the colors and it stressed him out. In three years he was on yellow twice and the good colors all the other days, but he was so worried about moving his clip that it made him hate school. His friends were on the "bad colors" all the time, so he worried the teachers would have him move his clip too. I told him to quit worrying about it, but it was no use.

The past two years we've been at a school that uses responsive classroom and he's much happier. It's rare that I hear him talking about his friends being in trouble, so I guess it's working ok. My ds is kind of shy and quiet, so he never got in trouble for anything except not following instructions before, but with the responsive classroom it seems the expectations are pretty clear? [/quote]

Your kid is going to have a rough life ahead of him if a color chart is so stressful for him. What is going to happen when his performance or the performance of his "friends" is criticized in the workplace? Will you switch him to a job that uses a "responsive management" strategy?

Or how about when his wife criticizes him for something she doesn't like? Will you insist he find a "responsive relationship" in which there are no consequences for doing whatever the hell he wants to do?

I get that hitting and shaming kids are horrible but there is such a thing as going too far in the other direction. Kids have to learn to accept criticism and use that to change their behavior. Kids learn nothing by being told how amazing and perfect they are all the time. [/quote]

Yeah, that's a great comparison! An elementary school aged boy and a grown man are EXACTLY the same thing. There are zero changes that occur between the ages elementary school and the time he will have graduated from college and started working and getting married. There's not any growing, learning and maturing that happens AT ALL during those years, is there? Gee pp, thanks for giving me some perspective on this. Time for me to start really parenting my child![/quote]

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