Reply to Advice for a FTM who is the main breadwinner

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a breadwinner making 100Kish in this area, what makes it possible is my DH SAH so there are no childcare expenses. He hasn't made great financial decisions either, but the decision to raise his kid for the benefit of the family was not a hard one. Your husband sounds very oddly rigid and insecure and I don't envy you the spot you're in with him. I like the idea of a 6 month ultimatum. He has a kid now and has to change something. His earning potential, his attutide towards work...[/quote]

The childcare expense is a big factor why I am second guessing my lean to stay in the area. It really is expensive. I knew this before I was pregnant, but it is just so much more real now that I write that check every week. If I take the job here, I computed that after the big expenses, I'd have about 700 usd a month to use for savings/emergency/clothing/vacation/leisure, etc. And this is with us RENTING. Say nothing of not being able to start a college savings plan. And if anybody is curious, we already have no cable, we have a very modest lifestyle, use the public library, etc.[/quote]

pp here. it is rough financially. We rent and have no college plan yet too. That it is temporary makes it bearable. Also, the un-quantifiable benefits to DH of getting to be right there when his kids grow up helps balance out the financial costs.  We get the full "marriage bonus" tax-wise, according to this chart you guys get the penalty (http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/04/16/upshot/marriage-penalty-couples-income.html?_r=0). In DH SAHDs are probably more common than anywhere else in America. That helps my DH also, he has a great community of, to put it bluntly, non-loser role models.

Also, he's not worried about re-entering the workforce because he is the kind of guy who can always make deals and start something up (he's had successful small businesses in real estate, IT services, etc). So he just sees this as a phase and when the kids get to school he'll do the next thing. Your DH does not seem to have that sort of faith in his own ability to find or make work.[/quote]

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