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[quote=Anonymous]OP - I really hope you are still reading.

I am sensitive, but have never considered myself a psychic.  However, I would love your guidance on this.  When I was very young, I had imaginary friends (like most kids).  The difference is, these "friends" would give me information.  Most of the time, that information was accurate.  Just one of hundreds of examples - When I was in middle school one of these "friends" told me not to get on the school bus.  I didn't.  I went home and told my mother that I had thrown up at the bus stop.  The bus was in an accident.  This kind of stuff happened all the time.  Of course, I was too embarrassed to tell anyone about it.

As I got older, I stopped seeing these "friends", but I still had very strong premonitions.  I could list several examples, but I'll just give one really big one.  The night before 9/11, I woke up with a very strong feeling of dread.  My chest hurt.  I felt a sense of panic.  I knew something really bad was going to happen.  And of course it did.  Here's the problem - I got exactly the same feeling right before my son was involved in a car accident.  Or when my daughter was taken to the hospital.  There is no difference in intensity even though 9/11 was obviously incredibly more significant.  I can't control it.  And I have no way of predicting what "bad thing" is going to happen or how serious the incident will be.  I don't get that feeling when someone skins a knee or runs a fever.  It seems to only happen when there is an intense emotional reaction by the victim.

Another example - I woke up around 2am with a severe cramp in my foot.  I got a phone call a couple of hours later letting me know my grandmother had just died.  She died from a sudden blood clot that originated in her foot.

One more - When we were visiting Cassadaga (for those who don't know, it's a famous spiritualist camp and tourist location) a woman came up to me and asked me how long I had been doing readings.  I told her I wasn't a psychic.  She took my hand, smiled and said, "You are.  You just haven't figured it out yet".  And she walked away.

These things happen to me on a regular basis.  I have premonitions about once a week.  I get very strong feelings about people the instant I meet them.  But I have zero control over any of it.

You said earlier that it is ok if you don't want to use those gifts.  The thing is, I don't feel like it is ok in my case.  I feel like I am supposed to be using them.  However, I am terrified of the feelings, dreams, and impressions.  I don't know where to even start to look for help.  I attend a very spiritually open Christian church.  We have a Tarot Group that meets once a month, but I have never been to one of their meetings because frankly, I am afraid of what I might learn about myself.

Assuming all the above is true (I'm not asking you to read me or to even suggest that I am being truthful -  I understand that there are many reasons that perhaps you can't/shouldn't do that on-line).  But let's assume that you knew me and that you knew all of the above to be true.  What would you advise someone like me to do?  I feel so conflicted.  I'm scared of the ability but at the same time, I feel very strongly that I am supposed to be using it.

Thanks so much for any advice you can offer.  [/quote]

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