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[quote=Anonymous]OP if you are still there, I will share with you how I got my DH on board. I'm the frugal one, he's more spendy.  I tried all sorts of angles to get him on board and it was only when we started to talk about what we both wanted for the future that the light bulb went on.  When I mean by this is a deep, caring, really listening conversation, maybe over dinner and bottle of wine (somewhere he enjoys and feels relaxed and not 'attacked' because the money conversation is an emotion-laden one) where you both share your dreams for the future.

The key is to suspend judgement and really listen and ask questions. If you find yourself about to be critical, pull back and reframe your comment as an interested question.  Or shut up and let him talk.  Deeply understand what lights him up and why. And share your dreams. Paint the picture vividly, show your passion, build on each others dreams and find your commonalities. This is a supportive, fun conversation.

Our common ground ended up being a early retirement where we can travel and indulge in our hobbies.  Once we committed to that we worked out how we get there. We agreed on savings, investments  and spending. This took a couple of conversations because he needed to marinate on some of the change required. We ended up going through our household budget & setting realistic limits together.  We did this at a high level because we are not detailed people, but it's worked for us. We agreed on both of us having an allowance each as others have suggested.  It is an agreed amount each month that we can spend on anything we want.  If he wants to blow it on beer and sports, cool with me.  But once it's maxed, it's maxed until next month. As our savings/investments are on track, it eliminates the disagreements when he does completely spend his allowance. I expect it to be spent.  So no questions asked.

TL;DR Start with the 'why' then discuss the 'how', it's far more motivating.  Good luck. [/quote]

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