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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You sound like the perfect wife. Seriously. If you ever dump his ass, let me know. I don't need much of an allowance.[/quote]
OP here, thank you.  Some people here are making me out to be the worst wife, but is it so bad that I want to help my family build wealth?  Most men complain about their wives' spending.  All I can think about is how to help him get ahead at work, save money, and enjoy a stress-free life.[/quote]

Wow are you ever controlling! You also seem obsessed with money. [/quote]

Not the OP, but if you ever lived with not knowing where the money was going to come from to pay for food, then you have no idea.  Maybe she is obsessed with money, but better safe than sorry.  Some of us are smart enough to know that food stamps and welfare or being forced to sell assets to pay for food is not a good way to live.[/quote]

OP here, you know, just reading what you wrote brings tears to my eyes.  I was always worried about money as a child and where we were, there was no welfare.  We never had much and my parents did not shield me from that.  I had never had brand new clothes until I moved to the US in my teens.  Many Americans live on the brink, but have not experienced what life is like when one has truly fallen to the bottom.  Having come from the bottom, I will not go back if I can help it.  I cannot control the future, but I can control my actions.[/quote]

Yup, we may be from different places, but my mom never shielded my brother and me.  She made almost all of my clothes or they came from goodwill or K-mart if we needed new.  She grew up in the depression, so when it came time to knuckle under, she could, not that she wanted to.  She had no choice after my dad died.  Dad had his own business, with debt and my mom discovered an employee had been embezzling funds from my dad.   I think mom may have had 20 bucks to work with.  She did it.  And I am still very grateful she did.

I married a spendthrift, but only after we max retirement.   I am trying to get him to stop splurging on crap we don't need.  We are drowning in stuff.[/quote]

OP here, how do you manage what I imagine must be your irritation at his spending habits?  [/quote]

Well, at this point, since the career changes, we actually spend down a great deal of savings because of an unexpected 2nd child and the desire to pay a nanny for the first few years of care.  We are now looking at what we really bring in each month, and trying to make sure we are break even or saving.  I am the one who has been using a spending tracker since the beginning of the year.  I needed it to show DH the bleeding.

We also now review everything he walks in with from Costco, and I look at every receipt.  If it is a purchase I am not convinced we need, we talk about it.  He's been making a few runs back to Costco to take crap back.  Like the outfits he found for DD at Sam's Club.  I know full well she won't wear them.  So, I explained why.  They haven't been returned yet, but they are going back.  We do spend on thing, like a new tv or camp for my daughter.  We had to talk through where the money was coming from and if we are going to be positive or negative that month or overall.

I guess the key is we are transparent about where we spend money.  Neither of us is draconian.   He also asks before he goes to the dollar store or any other store where he can't take things back.  I ask before I get my nails done.[/quote]

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