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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have been married 10 years. I never enjoy trips to see his family, though I believe it is really important for our kids to see them and spend time with them. The big problem for me is that my MIL over schedules us and it stresses me out. Meanwhile, DH just chills out in the easy chair with the iPad while everyone else watches our kids (if I am not there) and essentially sees it (IMO) as having built-in babysitters. Not to mention, we have to go places as a group of 15 and no one makes decisions. And when DH and I make decisions everyone complains that we are bossy. Oh, and  every night they have a party or 10 people come to the house to visit, so as an introvert, I feel like I am on constantly. It is miserable for me and I have tried to enjoy it, roll with it, just follow along, etc. frankly, I feel like the conversation is always really superficial and they schedule us constantly so no one ever has to spend more than 3 min talking to someone.

Anyone else dealt with this and found a happy place where you can agree with your spouse? It is one of the few sore points in our marriage that we cannot seem to resolve. And no, we don't vacation with my family. But they are local. And DH wouldn't want to (he has said as much) and I am not really interested either.[/quote]

OP I come from a large family and that sounds about typical. The DH is in his moms house so he relaxes and thinks "mom can do it! I am going to relax" He does not notice that you are actually running around the whole time. He thinks you are "enjoying all the fuss" I am a bit of a loner and those family gatherings were exhausting. All that small talk. All that dressing and un dressing, shuffling all those people in and out of the cars, arranging who would be where, when. Then there is always the one who plans and plans and plans thinking that you have to be doing something. Some people really like that, but I never did. Finally I started saying no, we are NOT going. Or just saying that I needed some down time. Why do you think certain people have to "nap" while others need to go to the "liquor store" and stay gone for hours.  It all needs to tone down some. Or just do it less often.[/quote]

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