Reply to Really, how do I make friends?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP here who believes that people in their 30s already have all the friends they need and aren't looking for more.  I have found this to be very true in the suburbs.  When you've moved out to the suburbs, it's more likely that you've decided to stay in the area because you grew up here/went to school here/have family here or spouse has family here.  That probably means that you have a large circle of friends and family already and aren't looking to make more friends.  That has been my experience out in the suburbs.  When I worked full-time, and lived in the suburbs and worked in a suburban office, I was the only person in my office of 40 people who was not from this area (and most of my co-workers were in their 30s).  Nearly everyone I meet as a new mom is from this area.  Their lives are "crazy busy" and they don't have time to make new friends.  I'm always amazed how full most moms' social calendars seem to be.  Our social calendar is pretty much always empty.  I reach out to other moms to try to get together outside of gym class, mommy and me, etc. and my invitations are declined 99% of the time.  My husband has given up trying to make friends and says that no one wants to be friends with us because they already have tons of friends, so we should just get used to being lonely and alone. I think he's right, sadly enough.  We've been here several years so far and I've only been able to make 2 friends here.[/quote]

OP here.  My husband says the same thing, I guess he's ok with no friends.  And I just don't understand how all these other people got to be that way.  Even before, I didn't have a lot of friends, but enough to keep me from being lonely.  Now I just want to sit around and cry.  I never knew life could be so isolating.[/quote]

With that attitude, I don't think anyone is going to make the effort to be friends with you. We are not the most social but we always make friends. I have some friends who make friends anywhere and everywhere they go. We will be on vacation and they will make friends with the bartender or people at the pool. Other people I know try to network anywhere they go. Whether it is at a pool while on vacation or the neighborhood playground, you either click or don't click. If you barely have a conversation and awkwardly try to make plans, a busy person will probably not make time for you. On the other hand, if they want to get to know you, they would invite you to the plans they already have. I have often invited another person to come along to the zoo or to our house, especially if I think both parties would also get along.[/quote]

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