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Reply to "Really, how do I make friends?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP here who believes that people in their 30s already have all the friends they need and aren't looking for more. I have found this to be very true in the suburbs. When you've moved out to the suburbs, it's more likely that you've decided to stay in the area because you grew up here/went to school here/have family here or spouse has family here. That probably means that you have a large circle of friends and family already and aren't looking to make more friends. That has been my experience out in the suburbs. When I worked full-time, and lived in the suburbs and worked in a suburban office, I was the only person in my office of 40 people who was not from this area (and most of my co-workers were in their 30s). Nearly everyone I meet as a new mom is from this area. Their lives are "crazy busy" and they don't have time to make new friends. I'm always amazed how full most moms' social calendars seem to be. Our social calendar is pretty much always empty. I reach out to other moms to try to get together outside of gym class, mommy and me, etc. and my invitations are declined 99% of the time. My husband has given up trying to make friends and says that no one wants to be friends with us because they already have tons of friends, so we should just get used to being lonely and alone. I think he's right, sadly enough. We've been here several years so far and I've only been able to make 2 friends here.[/quote] How old are your kids? I am the previous poster who moved to DC in my 30's with a toddler and infant. I am a mom with a crazy busy schedule. Our kids now attend preschool and elem school. Between homework, sports, extracurricular activities during the week and birthday parties, bbqs, play dates, etc on the weekends, we always have packed plans. Most of the friends we see on an everyday basis live within a 5 mile radius and either attend school with our kids or do an extracurricular activity. Some friends lived here all their lives. Others moved here after college. The one thing we have in common are our kids and that is why we hang out and became friends. [/quote] PP here. I have an infant and toddler. I'm a SAHM. So they are not in school yet. We never have any social plans. Moms don't seem interested in being friends with me. I'm super lonely.[/quote] Do you live in a DC suburb? Have you tried MOMs Club, meetup.com, local mom's groups? You don't have to be friends with people to do activities with your kids. That will keep you busy.I used to take my toddler to the playground, library, Gymboree, music, mom's group play dates, etc. I was busy then but I wouldn't say I made any friends. I'd say hi to familiar faces but did not actually form any friendships. Some of those first mom's group play dates were straight up painful for me. I kept going so my kids could play even though I had absolutely nothing in common with the moms. I am now very active in both my children's schools. I'm not friends with everyone but there are lots of events and volunteer opportunities. It keeps me busy. I also work. Again, I don't consider anyone a true friend but I small talk with people at the office. We did become very good friends with a handful of families from my older child's preschool class. Older child is now in kindergarten. We have started hanging out with a few families from his new elementary school who happen to live a few blocks over. Also made friends with a few familes from my younger child's preschool class this year. We introduce neighbors. They introduce us. My kindergarten son's closest friend's parents grew up in our exact same neighborhood. We have invited them over several times and we have also gone over to their house. I know they have friends who are childless or with kids who are older. Their kid seems to like my kid best so we get together. You can still become friends with people even if you are new. It will happen for you. Just be patient.[/quote]
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