Reply to Is giving up making your own money a bad idea for ANY woman? (philosophical ponderings)

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Reply to "Is giving up making your own money a bad idea for ANY woman? (philosophical ponderings)"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I once read that the only statistically significant difference in outcome for children who have working mothers versus SAHMs is a higher likelihood for daughters to follow their mothers' paths.  I can live with that.  I would hope my daughter has a career and is self supporting and I am sure that my SAHM friends would prefer for their children to do the same.

In order to feel good about myself, I want to use my education and training (specific to me - I appreciate that others are different).  I also want to model for my children a marriage where many roles are jointly held rather than being one of the spouses's primary responsibility (a joint goal for our family - again I understand that others might want to model different paths to a strong marriage).  I want my children to see the give and take of a household where we both financially contribute and we both negotiate other responsibilities.  As an example, during the recent school closings in ffx county, my kids watched us decide who would stay home, how to come up with options to cover childcare and how to prioritize as a couple which of our out of the house commitments was most pressing.

I hope to teach my daughter that compatibility with your spouse on how you want your marriage to unfold is super important.  I married a man who wanted a wife with her own career.  When he was young, his father lost his job and his untrained sah mother had to try to find a job in retail to make ends meet.  I dont think it lasted a long time but for some reason, it made a huge impression on DH.  He told me that he did not want the stress of being the only breadwinner and that in order to facilitate that, he was willing to share equally in the day to day household and childcare responsibilities.  I worked part time for five years when my children were very young, and DH was very supportive.  But I think we both wanted for me to go back full time.  It is working out for us.  He outearns me, but I think we both feel that we could weather a job loss (his or mine) ok.

I don't spend a lot of time thinking about divorce and even without the spectre of divorce (or death or whatever), I want to work.  I hope my daughter (and son) choose to work for its own rewards and not just for insurance purposes.  But of course, they are going to do what they want to do and I will support whatever choices they make...[/quote]

Your relationship with your spouse  sounds incredible. A true partnership. This is the best role modeling you can do for your kids. You did good :)[/quote]

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