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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Isn't it funny that people who are divorced and in unhappy marriages encourage the OP to divorce, and those in happy marriages or marriages that has seen its share of ups and downs are encouraging her to give the marriage a chance.

Op needs validation from internet strangers?  Good luck to her![/quote]

Yep.  Misery loves company.  [/quote]

I'll say it once more. I have made my decision.  I am not looking for validation. I am not asking anyone's opinion on whether I should stay or go.  I am asking what steps I should take first in starting the divorce proceedings.  If you would simply READ what I wrote, instead of salivating at the opportunity to bully someone, it sure would save a lot of everyone's time.
[/quote]

Good for you. I got divorced for different reasons, but I can tell you first steps.

Do research on attorneys. 
Ask around and get referrals. Do not get referrals here!
When you identify 2 or 3, go and pay for consultations. 
I don't know if you work; I assume you do. Make sure your job is secure and your benefits are good. 
Gather every bit of information you can about your financial assets. Make copies of everything and keep it somewhere other than work. 
Think about your husband and what kind of divorce you want. Do you think it will be amicable? If so, great. Tell the attorney. If not, consider withdrawing 50 percent of your assets before you tell your husband about the divorce. 
Think about custody. Joint? How will it work? What would you like to do re: living arrangements, etc. Can you compromise on anything? 
Do you want to stay in your house or move? Can you pull that off financially? You never want to be house rich and cash poor.  
Tell trusted friends and family. You'll need their support. 
Consider using a marital counselor to help you hand your husband to work out the divorce amicably. 
Do NOT fall for the whole collaborative divorce thing. Get a normal attorney and compromise on anything you can.

I know I'm missing a million things. Ignore people here who think that a woman shouldn't get a divorce in the 21st century. They are either Christian right nuts or women trapped in miserable marriages or women who just like to think they're perfect and above the problems that the rest of the world face.

[/quote]

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