Reply to IF husband has borderline personality disorder- a death sentence for the marriage?

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Reply to "IF husband has borderline personality disorder- a death sentence for the marriage?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I think "porn addiction" is, like "sex addiction" a completely made up pile of BS pushed by people who want to pathologize things they don't like.

The substance abuse, and the other poor impulse control stuff you cite, could all be related to the ADD - attempts to self-medicate and classic behavior due to ADD.

I'd seriously - very seriously - question a therapist, who based on your description alone - would hint at a diagnosis.  That seems to me (not a professional) to border on malpractice.

All that said: I was engaged to a woman with BPD.  I ultimately fled (literally) what was an abusive relationship.  From everything I now understand about this diagnosis, the prognosis is very poor - yes, for a small number of pts., who aren't severe sufferers and are willing to recognize they need to work on it, there is some success with DBT.

What I am struck by in your post is the degree to which your husband is pathologized.  That's not necessary for you to decide "I've had enough".  And even if your husband had a diagnosis, you would still be stuck with learning to accept (tolerate without being miserable) living with those behaviors.

It sounds to me a little bit like you're looking for validation or an excuse to do what you've already decided you want to do: leave him.  Just do it.  You don't need an excuse.  Yes, he may very well be hurt.  Suck it up and take your guilt lumps.

- signed, someone who left a BPD (who lost her shit for about oh 2 weeks, then hooked  the next guy).[/quote]

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