Reply to 11yo DD furious that we don't allow screens M-Th

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]We have always had this rule during the school year.  Lately she is really upset about it.  She says she just "wants to be normal".  She says she is the only one.  She cried herself to sleep about it 2 nights ago.

She has daily homework and gets it done without problems.  She plays soccer 3 nights a week.  She has lots of screen time Friday-Sunday.

She says we baby her and that our rules are abnormal.  She still sits in the back seat, and is outraged about that too.  She also has a "in bed by 8:45, lights out by 9pm" bedtime.  She says this is also crazy.  She has to get up at 6:15 for school start time of 7:30 so I worry about her getting enough rest.

Also, my hope is that if she doesn't have access to screens, she'll read.  She used to be a voracious reader, but now there are so many things competing for her time.  I feel she has stopped reading for pleasure and I worry that her vocaulary will not develop.

Is no screens M-Th excessively strict?

I do notice that virtually all of her classmates and soccer teammates sit in the front seat.  I think she is actually the only one who sits in the back seat still.  She weighs 80 pounds.[/quote]

I have older kids.  Our oldest just graduated from college.  We have three in college.  And a 16 year old at home.  Your house, your rules.  Period.  If those are your rules, then she'll have to learn to live with them.

However, you did ask for opinions.....  ;)

As long as my kids did their homework, kept their grades up, and participated regularly in at least one extra-curricular activity, we didn't limit screen time.  We didn't have to - It was a self-correcting problem.  There just is not a whole lot of time leftover.  When my kids were middle school aged and younger, we had a "no technology one hour before bedtime rule".  That's usually when they read.  I'm not sure why you are choosing this as a hill to die on.  It sounds like she is doing what she is supposed to do.

By 11 I allowed my kids to ride in the front seat occasionally.  I put the seat as far back as possible.  I only allowed it if we were going a short distance in minimal traffic and perfect weather.

8:45 seems a little early.  She might feel better if it were in bed by 9 lights out by 9:30.  Just the sound of 8 -anything sounds early.  Maybe a compromise might help her feel a little more grown up?

She's not going to read more just because you limit screen time.  My college junior read so much at that age that we actually had to take away books because she would read to the exclusion of everything else.  My kids had unlimited access to television and computers assuming all of their work was done.  My college freshman never liked to read.  She somehow managed to write papers on books she never read.  Some kids just love reading and others don't.

What your daughter is really asking for is a little more control over her schedule and a little more independence.  So compromise with her.  Don't give in, but ask for her input and give her a little more freedom.  I'll bet you'll be surprised by how well she steps up to new responsibilities.

[/quote]
That more succinctly sums up what I was going to say. :)[/quote]

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