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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Even though it looks innocent on the part of your husband, the resulting impact of being lied to for you will feel very similar as if he actually did have an affair.  [b]It sucks[/b] because he probably won't get that and he didn't have an affair.[/quote]

:roll:

I agree with the PP who wondered how he could go to a bar every week for 8 mos without OP noticing. Unlike OP, my olfactory nerves are working, and I smell troll.[/quote]

OP here. Funny thing is my phone died just after I posted by he first response. I figured it was for the best BC there was no way I was finding my charger at that point in the night.

I actually told him that I'd like to have time to go out myself, uncannily similar to the first response when I check on this thread in the morning. He was receptive although grumpy about it. I think it will make a lot of difference.

To those who don't understand, it is definitely a situation that won't make sense to everyone, but I have been really heartened to see the responses that understand my point of view.

To those who wondered how I didn't know he was drinking, I did. He would say, we are grabbing a drink after class, and i was totally supportive. I went to a masters program and know well the networking and idea exchange that happens. So I assumed it was one or two drinks. To me, you simply dont need more than three hours to go out for a drink with your class, and if you want to spend more time than that away from your family, you absolutely do need to both inform and get the buy-in of your spouse.. It was significantly more time than that. There is also the issue of the budget. We are on a super tight budget.

Anyway. Thanks everyone for the responses. Hopefully in time this will all be something we work out. [/quote]

I am not understanding. You knew he was out drinking, so what is the issue? Are you trying to say that for 8 months, you had no idea what time his class started or ended and he would be at the bar for 8 hours? How would you not know his schedule for 8 months?[/quote]

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