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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, had you given your husband no warning at all beforehand, or are PPs reading too much into your post?[/quote]

OP and I had endlessly said I was tired of never being good enough in his eyes.  I told him it could not go on like this much longer and finally one day said enough is enough.  I think he was stunned more out of ego than anything else.  We did the marriage counseling route and he would never consider anything he did as negative.[/quote]

I also split up with my husband, and he was totally stunned when I announced it.  Our situation was different, there was infidelity, which he was never able to stop, and we had been through extensive counseling.  He had been recommended to take medications, stop drinking and see a counselor, none of which he did consistently.

It puzzles me to this day why he was so surprised when I finally told him it was over.  He had plenty of warning.  It's inconceivable to me that anyone would expect a spouse to continue a relationship under those circumstances.  And, he clearly understood that I personally wouldn't live like that.  And yet, when I informed him it was over, he was stunned.  For a number of years, he seemed to believe we might get back together.

So odd.  I don't know if it was ego, an inability to see the truth about himself, an inability to understand how I saw him, a view of women as disempowered, or just a simple inability to realistically predict the consequences of his actions. [/quote]

Maybe he was stupid enough to give credence to your sacred oath taken before man and God?[/quote]

Marriage vows are not a carte blanche excusal to treat your spouse badly and expect her to put up with it. [/quote]

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